


Reach

by gretawhy



Category: NSYNC
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-16
Updated: 2017-04-16
Packaged: 2018-10-19 11:52:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,378
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10639299
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gretawhy/pseuds/gretawhy





	

 

_…I wasn’t even looking for you…_

“I’m…gay…well, not gay, but…I’m not straight.” Deep breath. “I guess…I’m bi?”

Chris crossed his arms over his chest and tilted his chair back on two legs. He squinted at Lance. “Dude, are you asking us or telling us?”

Lance let out a frustrated sigh. “I’m gay. No, I’m bisexual.” He nodded, “I’m telling you.”

Chris grinned, “you sure?”

“I’m sure.” Lance stared at him, “Okay?”

Chris shrugged, “Whatever floats your boat, dude.”

“Justin?” Lance looked at the younger man.

Justin rolled his eyes and tossed a game controller in Chris’s direction, “Lance, if we’re okay with JC, what would be the difference with you?”

“Yeah,” Joey chimed in, his eyes on the television screen, “What’s the big deal?”

“I don’t know,” Lance replied. “I guess I just thought…”

“What?” Chris said, glancing over his shoulder at him, “like we would treat you any differently than JC?” He snorted, “We should treat JC differently after all the shit he’s been trying to pull lately.”

“Hey!” JC said from the table, “what shit?”

Chris’s thumbs moved over the buttons on the control, his tongue between his teeth, “The fur VMA coat.”

Justin nodded, “The bird sweater on Rosie.”

Joey grinned, “The tulip pants. Dude, those are so not cool.”

JC slumped in his seat, “Guys, it’s the stylist.”

Joey laughed, “You could say no, you know.”

Lance grinned, “He likes it.” He sighed. Apparently the discussion about his sexuality was over. Sitting next to Joey on the couch, he focused on the screen.

“I’m okay, too, Lance, by the way.” Lance flickered his eyes back to JC and raised his eyebrows. “With you being gay or whatever.”

Lance smiled at him. “I knew you would be.” He shyly met his eyes before looking back at the television.

JC wondered what the hell that meant.

 

_…two different worlds…_

Lance knocked on JC’s door, sniffing loudly as he waited for JC to answer. Glancing at his watch, he saw that it was late, after eleven, and he groaned when he realized that JC was probably asleep.

“JC!” he yelled, banging on the door. “JC, come on, open up!”

The door behind him opened and Justin padded out, wearing flannel pants and no shirt. He was rubbing his eyes, “Lance? What’s going on?”

Lance barely glanced at him, “Nothing, Justin, go back to bed.”

“Are you okay?” Justin asked softly.

Lance took in a shaky breath, “No. But I just need to talk to JC about it.” He pounded on the door again.

Justin leaned against his door and studied Lance. “Can I help?”

Lance turned to him and Justin’s eyes widened at Lance’s red-rimmed eyes, “No, J. Thanks. You wouldn’t understand.” He turned back to the door and pounded on it again.

Justin shrugged, “Okay, well, if you can’t get JC, I’ll be up.”

“What?” The door opened and JC glared at Lance. “What the hell do you want? This better be important.” He glanced at Justin, who escaped into his room before looking back at Lance. His features softened as he took in his friend’s expression. “Lance? What’s wrong?”

Lance started sobbing when he heard his friends concerned voice. “My mom,” he hiccuped, “she…said…that…I…was…a…sinner.”

JC pulled Lance close and hugged him, feeling his body shake with sobs. “Shh, Lance, calm down.” He pulled Lance into his room, kicking the door closed. Sitting him on the bed, he went to the bathroom and got Lance a drink of water.

“Here,” he said, handing the glass to Lance. “Now, tell me what happened.”

Lance gulped the water, wiping his face with the back of his hand. “I told my mom,” he said softly.

“Oh.” That was all JC could manage. He remembered when he told his parents about being gay. He was terrified. “I guess it didn’t go over too well?”

Lance snorted, “That’s the understatement of the year.” He played with the edge of JC’s comforter. “She told me I was a sinner and that if I didn’t change I was going to hell.” Lance looked up at JC, “How could she do that?” he whispered. “She’s my mom.”

JC’s heart broke at the sound of Lance’s voice. He was lost, broken. His own mother turned him away because of something he couldn’t prevent.

“Do you believe her?” JC asked.

“Do I think I’m going to hell?” Lance clarified. JC nodded and he was quiet for a moment. “I don’t want to,” he said so quietly JC had to strain. “I don’t want to think that just because I have feelings for a man that I won’t get into heaven.” He met JC’s eyes, “But I don’t know what else to believe.” He made a fist and hit the bed, “I hate this! I hate feeling guilty because of this!”

JC rubbed his shoulder, “I’m so sorry.”

Lance nodded and looked at him, “What did your parents say?”

“It’s not important,” JC said.

“No, JC,” Lance replied, “I want to know.”

“They supported me. They understood it was a part of me and they stood behind me.” JC’s voice was laced with concern and a hint of guilt.

“That’s so great,” Lance said. He sighed and leaned against JC. “How could my parents be the polar opposite of yours?”

JC shrugged, his arm around Lance’s shoulders, “I don’t know, Lance.”

Lance snuggled next to JC, using his warmth to fall asleep.

 

_…I’m a people watcher, it’s been a hobby of mine for quite some time…_

Chris nudged Justin. “Look at them.”

Justin glanced up from his lunch. Across the room, Lance and JC sat next to each other, laughing at something Joey had said. “What about them?”

Chris rolled his eyes, “They are so into each other.”

Justin cocked his head, “They are?”

“Yeah.” Chris motioned with his head, “Watch JC when Lance laughs. He just stares at him.”

Justin nodded, “Yeah, I guess.” Taking a bite of his sandwich, he looked at Chris, “So if they’re so into each other, why aren’t they together?”

Chris shrugged, “I have no idea.”

That wasn’t entirely true, he thought. He knew what the problem was, he was just unsure on how to fix it.

Ever since Lance had come out to them as being bisexual, he had done nothing to support that fact. He had gone on a few dates, all with women. At clubs, he would pick up some girl and take her back to the hotel. He would come out of his room in the morning with a sated look on his face and share a smile with Joey, who knew that look better than any one of them.

It was as if Lance was trying to deny the fact that he had feelings for men.

JC had told Chris of Lance’s conversation with his mother. Chris knew that Lance’s mom knew exactly how to play the guilt card with her son. He knew that Lance held the Bible as something sacred, as it should be, and his mother knew exactly what passages to quote, what pages to point out to her son who was falling off the path of righteousness.

And yet Chris saw the way Lance looked at JC. He saw Lance’s face light up when JC entered the room. He saw how Lance would spray an entire can of silly string on JC at soundcheck. Lance would often drift to JC’s room at night after a show to talk and watch movies. He would sit on the bus and read words over JC’s shoulder just to be near him.

Chris knew that Lance was taking all these girls back to his hotel room to get over what he was scared to admit. Lance didn’t want to have feelings for JC, because even though he came out, he never acted on any of his impulses. And as soon as he would act on an impulse, that’s when he was officially going to hell.

Chris grinned across the room at the pair. Lance was laughing and JC was staring. Then Lance looked up and met JC’s eyes. The two stopped laughing and just smiled at each other.

Justin raised his eyebrows at Chris. “You’re good, man.”

Chris shrugged, “You just have to know what to look for.”

 

_…and now that we’re standing face to face, something tells me it’s gonna be okay…_

JC watched Lance from across the room. He was at the bar, supposedly getting them another drink, but really standing there with a girl.

“His latest conquest,” JC muttered.

JC was getting tired of this. He hated going out with the guys, ending up at the table by himself watching Lance from across the room. He didn’t know when the feelings hit him, but they had hit him hard and now he was going crazy.

He had a feeling it was after Lance’s mom told him he was a sinner. He began to feel more protective of Lance, watching him to make sure he was okay. His own parents were supportive, so much so, that they wanted to fix him up with a friend of the family. JC couldn’t understand how someone as nice as Diane could do that to her own son.

When the feelings turned from pity into something more, JC didn’t know. He knew that Lance and he had spent more and more time together, being able to bond over the simple fact that they both liked men. He knew that Lance’s laughter was the one he craved most when telling joke, and that Lance’s smile could brighten his day.

And he just knew Lance felt the same way. He would catch Lance humming stupid songs and grinning happily at him. He would see Lance staring at him on the bus when he thought JC was asleep. He would hear Lance on the phone with his mom, begging her to understand that it was okay that he liked men, that he wasn’t going to hell because of a little crush.

He knew that Lance would seek him out to talk to, not because he could relate, but because he could be completely and utterly honest with JC. He didn’t have to lie to cover up his feelings. He didn’t have to pretend that everything was okay like he did with the others.

But JC was getting sick of watching him pick up girls.

JC slid out of the booth and made his way to the bar. “Lance,” he said, sliding up behind him.

“Hey!” Lance said, turning around.

JC grinned at him, noticing how Lance completely ignored the girl he was talking to when he showed up. “I’m going to head back, you wanna come?”

Lance searched JC’s face, “Um…”

JC could see the hesitation in Lance’s eyes. Sighing, JC said, “Look, Lance, I would really like you to come back with me.”

“Really?”

“Yeah,” JC said. “I want to talk to you.”

Lance bit his lip and looked at the crowd on the floor. JC waited, knowing he was thinking if this was a good idea or not. Finally, he looked at JC, “Okay. Let’s go.”

JC took his arm, as not to lose him in the crowd, and pushed his way to the exit. They stopped to yell in Joey’s ear that they were leaving and left the club. The ride back to the hotel was silent. Lance stared out the window, and JC stared at Lance, trying to decide how to convince Lance that being with him wasn’t a bad thing.

Lance followed JC through the lobby and into the elevator. His heart was beating a mile a minute, his palms were sweaty and he could practically feel the sweat coming out of his pores. This was worse than stage fright. He knew that JC wanted to talk about them, and he knew he couldn’t get out of it, no matter how hard he tried.

“Drink?” JC asked him as he opened his door.

“No, thanks.”

Lance took off his jacket and sat down on the edge of the bed. JC paced in front of him, making him more nervous than he already was. Opening his mouth, he began to speak.

“JC-“

“Lance-“ JC said at the same time.

Nervous laughter.

“You go first,” Lance offered, running his hand through his hair.

“Okay,” JC said. “Look, I know you’re having problems with your mom.”

“Get right to the point, why don’t you?” Lance muttered.

JC sat next to him and immediately stood up, pacing again. “I love you,” he blurted out.

Lance knew his mouth dropped open, but as hard as he tried to shut it, he couldn’t. “Oh.”

JC sighed, “I’m sorry. I didn’t want to tell you like that. I wanted to tell you that I hate what your mom is doing to you, I hate that you feel guilty for being gay, I hate that you feel like you have to compensate for that part of you that is attracted to men by picking up as many women as you can.”

“JC,” Lance said, standing in front of him.

“No!” JC said, stopping him from saying whatever it was he was going to say. “I have to say this. I don’t know when I fell in love with you, I never had feelings for you, it just sort of came up! And I know that this is still sort of new to you, but I want you to be able to love me. I want you to be able to look at me like you want to without all that guilt.”

Lance felt tears behind his eyes, “I want that, too.”

JC stepped forward, cupping his face. “It’s okay, Lance. You’re not a bad person.”

Lance nodded, meeting JC’s eyes. “I know.”

“It’s okay,” JC murmured and brought his face close to Lance’s.

“It’s okay,” Lance repeated, capturing JC’s lips with his own.

 

_…love’s everything and nothing like I thought it be…_

Lance flopped onto the bed he and JC were sharing, exhausted.

“What’s wrong, Lance?” JC teased. “You tired?”

Lance opened one eye and looked up at JC. “Were you at the same rehearsal as I was?”

JC laughed, crawling up the bed to Lance. “Wade really kills us, doesn’t he?”

Lance groaned and rolled onto his stomach, just knowing that JC would rub his tired muscles. “I thought two days off from touring would be a relief.” He moaned as JC hit a particularly sore muscle, “I forgot that he works us harder then.”

JC leaned over, his mouth at Lance’s ear. “How about a nice hot bath?” he whispered, nipping at Lance’s earlobe.

“That sounds perfect,” Lance said. “You go run the water and when I get the energy, I’ll join you.”

JC licked his ear, “Hurry.”

Lance felt JC move off him and contemplated how much energy it would take to actually get up, take off his clothing and walk into the bathroom.

“Too much,” he said. Then he thought about JC naked and in the water, the steam rising from the surface, his hair sticking to his head, a smile upon his beautiful face.

Lance stood, taking off his shirt as he did so.

They had been together for a few weeks, the best weeks of Lance’s life. He had experienced more in those weeks with JC than he ever had with any woman. JC taught him things that he never thought of. He relished the days when they could spend the day in bed, just the two of them. Although Lance was still worried about actually having sex, JC would never mind, content to hold him and touch him, kissing him in all the right places, whispering words of love.

“About time,” JC said from the tub when Lance appeared in the doorway.

Lance rolled his eyes, “Shut up.” He stepped into the tub and settled into JC’s arms. Sighing, he slipped further into the water. He moaned, “This feels so good.”

JC laughed, Lance feeling the rumble against his back. Picking up the soap, JC began to make lazy circles on Lance’s chest. He ran his soap-covered fingers across Lance’s tan skin, tweaking a nipple, causing Lance to gasp. JC’s lips found Lance’s ear, nibbling on the lobe, gently blowing on the wet skin.

Lance shifted in the water, turning his face to capture JC’s lips. His tongue entered JC’s waiting mouth, his hand moved along his strong thigh.

JC dropped the soap, his slick hand slipping down Lance’s body to take hold of his quickly growing erection. He smiled as Lance groaned in his mouth and bucked his hips up into JC’s hand.

Lance’s hand moved along JC, finding his goal and wrapping his fingers around JC’s length. Their hand moved together, the pace quickening, the water splashing over the sides of the tub.

“JC,” Lance moaned.

JC bit Lance’s shoulder as the deep voice of his lover rang through the bathroom, “I love you, Lance.”

Lance stopped his hand, causing JC to moan in response. “JC,” Lance said, turning his body in the tub so he was looking in his eyes.

“Yeah?” he asked thickly.

“Let’s go in the bedroom.”

JC’s eyes flew up to Lance’s. Was he really asking him that? “You mean?”

Lance smiled, “Yeah. I want you to make love to me, JC.” He dipped his head, capturing JC’s mouth with his own for a short kiss, moving along his jaw to his ear. “Will you make love to me?”

JC groaned as that voice permeated to his very core. “God,” he groaned, pushing Lance away so he could stand up.

They dried somewhat quickly, wasting time on kisses and sweet caresses. JC dropped the towel on the floor, leading Lance back into the bed, covering him with kisses as he moved on top of him. Lance shifted underneath JC so their erections were touching, moving his hips, grinding against JC.

Throwing his head back, JC groaned. “Lance, you gotta stop,” he said. Pulling away, he grinned down at Lance. “I don’t want this to end before it starts.”

Lance grinned up at him, “Well, what are you waiting for?”

JC’s heart skipped a beat and he moved off Lance to his bag. He returned with a tube of lubricant, kissing Lance as he slipped his fingers inside.

Lance stiffened at the unexpected feeling. “You okay?” JC murmured. He felt Lance nod and he inserted another finger, making sure Lance was ready for him.

Lance moaned and lifted his legs, telling JC he wanted more. His hand moved to his own erection as JC readied himself to enter Lance.

JC paused and looked down at Lance. “This is going to hurt,” he whispered seriously.

Lance nodded and JC kissed him as he began to push in. It hurt like hell, and Lance ground his teeth at the pain. He felt a few tears escape his eyes as JC paused, letting him adjust to the intrusion. Taking a deep breath, Lance willed away the pain, closing his eyes against it. He nodded and JC inserted more of himself in Lance, pausing for him to get used to the feeling.

Lance opened his eyes after JC was fully in him. They shone with tears, and JC raised a hand to cup his face. “I love you.”

“I love you, too.” Lance met his eyes. “Make love to me.”

JC started off slowly, his hips taking their time, not wanting to rush anything. He knew it was Lance’s first time with another man and he wanted to make it special. JC would have loved nothing more than to just let go, moving inside of him, wanting to feel everything Lance had, but he knew Lance would remember this for the rest of his life, and he wanted it to last.

“JC,” Lance moaned. “Please.”

JC moved faster, resting his head on Lance’s shoulder, “God, Lance,” he groaned.

Lance’s hands moved along JC’s back, his nails digging into the soft skin, pulling him close. His hands slipped on the sweat-covered skin, moving along his slick body. JC began to move faster, his breath becoming hitched as he felt himself coming close to the edge.

“Lance,” JC hissed as he released.

Lance clutched JC’s shoulders, pulling him close to him as he body spasmed. JC’s breath was hot on his neck, his fingers tangled in his hair.

“God, Lance,” JC moaned, lifting his head. He kissed him hungrily, “I love you.”

Lance kissed him back, “Love you, too.”

As JC moved down his body, taking care of Lance’s own erection, Lance kept his fingers tangled in the strands of JC’s hair. And as JC’s tongue brought Lance to the brink of insanity, Lance clutched his hair and cried out his name.

 

_…why do I throw down my weapons when you smile so harmlessly…_

“No!” Lance said forcefully into the phone. “That’s not good enough!” He stood from the chair and paced the hotel room. “We have to get her a booth. There’s no two ways about it.”

JC watched Lance move from his position on the bed. He had been waiting for over two hours for Lance to get off the phone and pay some attention to him. And from the looks of things, he’d be waiting even longer.

“Look, Paul, I don’t care what you have to do! Make it happen.” Lance sighed and listened to Paul’s response, moving back to his laptop and hitting a few keys. “We have plenty of money in her budget available to us.”

JC sighed heavily. This was ridiculous. This was the first night off they had in two weeks, the first night that JC would finally get to spend some time with Lance, and he had business to take care of.

“Lance,” JC whined from the bed, “get off the phone.”

Lance glanced sharply at him and motioned for him to be quiet. “No, Paul, I’m listening.” He threw JC a glare and turned his back to him.

JC angrily tossed his magazine next to him and stood up. “I’m going out,” JC told him.

“Hang on,” Lance said into the phone. “Where are you going?”

JC turned, “Oh. Are you talking to me?”

Lance grimaced, “I’m sorry, JC, really. But this is important.”

JC sighed, “I know.” He shrugged on his jacket, “I’m going to get some food. I’ll bring you something back.”

Lance grinned at him, “That would be great.” He blew him a kiss as he turned back to the phone, “Sorry, Paul. You were saying?”

JC grabbed a bodyguard and headed out onto the streets of Chicago. He wandered around, looking for someplace that had normal food, wondering what he was hungry for. He just hoped Lance would be off the phone when he got back.

He was. But now he was on the computer.

“Hey honey, I’m home,” JC said, dropping the bags of food on the table.

“JC!” Lance said harshly, picking up the food. “You can’t just toss those there! Don’t get grease on my contracts!”

“Sorry,” JC muttered. “Are you almost done?”

Lance shook his head, “No.”

"Come on, Lance,” JC whined again. “You’ve been working all night!”

“This has to get done,” Lance answered. “What are you doing?” he asked as JC crawled into his lap, wedging himself between Lance and the keyboard.

“Nothing,” he said against Lance’s skin. His tongue flickered out on Lance’s neck and moved along his throat.

“Well, maybe a little break,” Lance said, closing his laptop.

JC grinned against his mouth, “I thought you’d see it my way.”

 

_…you’ll always own every part of this broken heart….I can watch you leave, but I can’t let you go…_

“JC?” Chris stopped him in the hallway. “What’s going on?”

JC stared blankly at Chris, “Nothing.”

“You sure?” Chris asked, tilting his head, “You look kind of out of it.”

JC nodded absently, “Yeah, I’m fine.” He glanced down the hall, “Have you seen Lance?”

Chris jerked a thumb over his shoulder, “In your room.” He shook his head, “You sure you’re okay?”

JC sighed, “Yeah.” He walked past Chris and opened the door to the room he was sharing with Lance. He was surprised to see Lance asleep on the bed, papers in his hand. He must have fallen asleep while he was working.

“Lance,” JC said, shaking him. “Wake up.”

Lance groaned, “What time is it?”

“Two o’clock,” JC said, getting up and walking away.

Lance sat up and looked at JC, smiling sleepily at him. “Have a nice walk?”

JC thought back to where he had just spent the last two hours. “Not really,” he said.

Lance’s face quickly turned concerned, “What’s the matter?”

JC sighed, how was he going to do this? He had just spent the afternoon in Johnny’s room, listening to the PR people on how he had to find a girlfriend, people were beginning to talk. JC argued with them, he was in love with Lance, what did they want him to do, break up with him?

Turns out, that’s exactly what they wanted him to do.

No amount of begging and pleading on JC’s part could change their minds.

“Lance, we have to talk,” JC started.

Lance’s face paled. “No good conversation has ever started out with those words.” JC didn’t reply and Lance whispered, “JC?”

“I’m sorry, Lance,” JC said, choking on his words.

Lance shook his head, “Where is this coming from?” he asked. “Why are you doing this?”

JC shrugged, turning his back on Lance so he wouldn’t have to look at him. “It’s just better, that’s all.” He took a deep breath, “Bobbie called me last night,” he said.

“So?” Lance asked, his voice small.

“I miss her, Lance,” he lied.

“No you don’t,” Lance answered. He stood up and walked over to JC, “Tell me the truth, JC,” he said, turning JC around to face him. “You owe me the truth.”

JC shook his head, “That is the truth.” How could he tell Lance management wanted him to break it off?

Lance drew in a shaky breath, the tears burning paths down his cheeks. “I don’t believe you.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You should be,” Lance told him quietly.

 

_…you ain’t ever gonna love me…_

Bobbie adjusted the strap on her dress and smiled across the table at JC. His gaze was on his plate, staring at the mashed potatoes he hadn’t touched.

“So, JC,” she said, “tell me about the tour.”

He lifted his gaze. “You’ve been there, you know all about it,” he said flatly.

She sighed patiently, “I mean, tell me about the stuff I don’t see. How’s the soundcheck thing going? Do the fans like that better?”

JC shrugged and didn’t reply.

“What’s your problem, JC?” she asked him. “You call me out of the blue, want to go out and then you don’t even talk to me?”

JC shook his head, “You’re right,” he said, smiling brightly. “I’m sorry.”

She smiled at him, “That’s better.”

“How’s your column?” JC asked her, picking up his fork.

She began to talk, telling him about how she was ready to branch out a bit, make it more than just an advice column. JC was nodding in all the right places, asking all the right questions, and yet, wasn’t really listening.

Bobbie stopped talking and looked seriously at JC, “It’s never gonna happen, is it?”

“What’s that?” he asked, meeting her eyes.

“Us,” she said. “I’m never going to be your girlfriend, am I?”

JC shrugged, “Sure, Bobbie. Don’t say stuff like that.”

She sighed, “Look, JC, don’t play me, okay? I know you claim to like girls and all, but this dress isn’t doing a thing for you.” She laughed a little to ease the tension. “I’ll play your game, I’ll keep you company, but try not to lead me on, okay? Don’t act like you love me when you don’t.”

JC looked up at her and for the first time that night, she thought he was actually looking at her and not through her.

“Okay,” he said softly. “I won’t.”

She didn’t really believe it until he just said it.

 

_…how can he stand there acting like we never even happened…_

Lance slumped in the seat, looking around casually for the cameras. He knew they were near, waiting to get a reaction from him when the host said something funny, but he was off right now. He wasn’t in the mood to laugh.

JC was on the far end, as far as possible from Lance. Which meant that there was Joey, Dani, Chris, Justin, Britney, and Bobbie between them. That still wasn’t far enough away as far as Lance was concerned. He could still feel his presence even though there were six seats between them.

He stiffened as he heard JC’s laughter. Sneaking a glance, he saw Bobbie was leaning over, talking to him, a smile on her face. Looking away, he sat up as the lights went down on the house, signaling that they were back from commercial.

The host came on stage and joked around with the crowd, announcing the next act. Thank God it was a performance, and Lance wouldn’t need reaction shots for at least four minutes.

Joey leaned over to him, “You doing okay?”

Lance shook his head, “No. How could I be with him down there acting like I don’t even exist?”

Joey squeezed Lance’s leg, “That’s not true and you know it.”

“I wish I could believe that, Joey, I really do.” Lance sighed as Destiny’s Child moved around the stage, “I miss him, you know? And it kills me that he’s perfectly happy with her.”

Joey laughed, “Perfectly happy? I don’t know about that.” He grinned at Lance, “Who could be perfectly happy with her on his arm?”

Lance chucked in spite of himself. “No shit.” He sighed, “Oh well, that’s life, I guess. Heartache and pain.”

“Come on, Lance,” Joey said. “You’re starting to sound like one of those country songs you love so much.” He began to applaud as the music came to an end.

Lance smiled and clapped. Perfect reaction shot.

 

_…this flame will always live on…_

Lance was drunk. He knew it. He could feel it. The party after the show had been so much fun. As much fun as a root canal. He had watched JC and Bobbie dance the night away, pounding drinks and shots, so many that hes had lost count.

He was paying for it now, he thought. He was in the limo, his head against the cool glass, trying to keep down the contents of his stomach. He squinted through his alcohol-induced haze and the tinted glass to look at the entrance of the ballroom.

“Come on,” he slurred to himself. “Party’s over, let’s go.”

He shut his eyes and waited for the others to leave and join him in the limo. He had come out as soon as the lights had come on; squinting against the brightness, knowing that it was dark outside.

The door opened and Lance opened his eyes to see who his companion was.

“Figures,” Lance muttered. “It would be you.”

JC was silent as he looked at Lance. His tux was wrinkled, the shirt pulled half way out of his pants. His tie lay untied around his neck, the top few buttons of his shirt opened.

“You look like hell,” JC offered.

“Fuck you, JC.”

JC raised his eyebrows and smiled in spite of himself. “Oh yeah?” he answered.

Lance opened an eye and looked at him, “Yeah. Leave me alone.” After a minute, he opened an eye again, “Where’s the bimbo?”

JC shrugged, “I don’t know. She left with someone else.”

Lance laughed bitterly, ignoring the way it made his head hurt, “She dumped you?”

“I wouldn’t say that,” JC said. He looked out the window, “I’d say it was mutual.”

Lance snorted, “Yeah right. She dumped your sorry ass.” He glared at JC, “I hope it hurt, you bastard.”

JC would have laughed if this weren’t so serious for Lance. “What?”

Lance sat up, pulling his forehead from the window and staring at JC through glassy eyes. “I hope it hurt.” His words were slurred, but his emotion wasn’t lost. “I hope you feel like your heart has been ripped out and stepped on. I hope you feel like you’ll never love anyone again. I hope you feel like the only person in the world you have ever loved has just walked out of your life.”

His voice caught and he shut his eyes, dropping his head back on the window. “I hope it hurt,” whispered again.

JC slid across the seat, moving next to Lance. “I’m so sorry, Lance.” Lance snorted, keeping his eyes closed. JC reached out and ran his fingers through Lance’s hair. “I never mean to hurt you that bad.”

Lance turned his head, meeting JC’s eyes, staring at him in the darkness. “Then why did you do it?”

“I had to,” JC whispered. “I had no choice.”

They were interrupted by the door opening and the others stumbling into the limo. “Hello you two!” Chris singsonged to them.

“Hey Chris,” JC said, as he was pushed closer to Lance by Joey, who felt the need to sit where JC was.

Lance groaned as his body was shifted closer to the door. “Don’t do that,” he warned.

Justin peered at Lance, “Is he drunk?” he asked, his own words slurring together.

Britney giggled, “He’s even drunker than you are!”

Justin nodded, “Cool. At least I won’t be the only one paying for this in the morning.”

Lance groaned and rested his head on JC’s shoulder. JC snaked an arm around his back, holding him close.

“JC?” Lance asked him softly.

“Yeah, baby?” JC whispered.

“I love you, you know that, right?” Lance didn’t wait for an answer, “And you’re not really a bastard, I’m just drunk.”

JC laughed softly and pulled Lance closer to him.

 

_…all I really need to get me through is you…_

JC was sick. His head felt like it was about to explode, anything he tried to eat kept coming back up, and he was blowing his nose so much, Justin had begun calling him Rudolph because of his perpetually red, chapped nose.

Lance stayed by his side, offering him chicken soup, making him cups of hot tea with honey, and measuring out his cough syrup at the right times. JC was so grateful to him, knowing that he was not the easiest person to be around when he was sick.

His mother called him, warning him to be nice to Lance, because it was hard for her to take care of him when he was ill, and she was his mother. He had thanked her kindly for the advice and then hung up on her.

Lance came into the back of the bus, carrying a tray with a bowl of soup and a steaming cup of liquid. JC smiled pitifully at him and he laughed as he sat on the floor next to the couch.

“Feel any better?” Lance asked as JC sat up.

“No,” JC said cranky. “I hate being sick.”

“No one likes being sick, JC,” Lance said. He handed him a few pills, “Take these.”

“Why are you doing this?” JC asked him.

“What’s that?” Lance asked, opening a napkin.

JC swallowed the pills, “I’ve been such an asshole to you the past few weeks. Why are you being so nice to me?”

Lance sat back on his heels and grinned at JC. “I lost the game. We played paper rock scissors to see who had to take care of you and I lost.”

JC growled at him, his ferocity lessened by the coughing fit he immediately had. “I’m sorry.”

Lance nodded, “I know you are, JC.” He handed him the bowl of soup and watched as he ate it. “Johnny told me that the PR people made you date Bobbie.”

“He did?” JC asked.

“Yeah.” Lance shrugged, “It’s fine.”

“No it’s not, Lance,” JC said, blowing on a spoonful of broth. “I hurt you, and that’s not okay.”

Lance smiled at him, “I’m here now. And we’re starting over. So it’s all worked out.”

JC set the bowl back on the tray and slid on the floor next to Lance, “We wasted so much time.” He ran a hand over Lance’s jaw.

Lance shrugged, “The way I look at it is that you came back. That’s really all that matters. I have you now.”

JC leaned forward, “You have me.”

Lance backed away, “No. I’m not going to get sick.” He laughed at JC’s expression. “We can wait until you’re better.”

JC sighed and got back up on the couch. Lance tucked the blankets under his chin and kissed his forehead. “Get some rest.”

JC closed his eyes.

 

_…there are places in your heart that have never been touched…_

“Guys…me and JC…well, we’re dating.”

Chris rolled his eyes, “No shit, Lance.”

Joey looked up from the magazine he was reading, “Why are you telling us this?”

Lance shrugged, “We thought you should know.”

Justin raised an eyebrow, “We knew a long time ago.”

JC shook his head, “No, that was before.” He took Lance’s hand, “This time it’s serious.”

Chris raised his hand, “So let me get this straight. Before it wasn’t serious?”

JC glanced at Lance, “Well…no, it was…but not like this.”

Justin tossed Chris a controller, “Look, guys, you have to stop telling us what we already know like it’s going to be some kind of shock.”

Joey tossed the magazine to the ground to watch Chris and Justin’s game. “Justin’s right. We know you’re serious.” He grinned back at them, “It’s written all over your faces.”

Lance looked at JC, who stared at him in shock. They thought for sure the guys were going to think it was some kind of fling. They never expected this.

Lance reached out and took JC’s hand.

JC smiled at Lance and they turned their attention back to the television.

They never expected this.

*****  
_  
All song lyrics taken from Meredith Edwards' album Reach_


End file.
